Thursday, November 19, 2009

Clash of the Multi-Level Elixirs: Xango v. Herbalife in MLS Cup

"Are you interested in a business opportunity?" "We are looking for distributors in your area."

In this Sunday's Major League Soccer Cup final XanGo will square off against Herbalife in a winner-take-all battle of the pyramid scheme health supplement companies: XanGo* v. Herbalife.*

[For the uninitiated I must point out the Real Salt Lake's jersey is not red and blue, but claret and cobalt; we like our alliteration in Utah...]

To make matters worse, two Sports Academic authors are invested in the match. Not as distributors, but as fans of the two teams. I regularly attend Real Salt Lake matches and Bob Hudson, UCLA PhD that he is, is a fan of the LA Galaxy. In fact, we attended a match they played against each other earlier this season: a 2-2 draw. At the gate we were handed a small packet of XanGo. I drank it. My conclusion? It must be good for you since it tastes so bad.

I am not sure which is worse: sports like football and baseball with fairly subdued sponsorships on their jerseys (a small swoosh, for example); or sports like soccer where the primary sponsor takes up the place of the team name. The disadvantage of the latter is that my son, who loves his Real Salt Lake jersey, is now a walking billboard for XanGo and their mangosteen fruit's miraculous health properties (also available as a shampoo).* The advantage is that soccer games are not continually interrupted, like football, by two minute commercial spots between plays.

Whichever model is better, Bob and I still have a Sports Academic wager on this Sunday's final. What are we betting? The loser has to drink a glass of XanGo* or a Healthy Meal Herbalife Shake*.... if we can find a distributor in our area, that is.

*These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.


Robert J. Hudson said...

The gauntlet has been dropped, the line has been drawn: Corry, I accept your challenge--ou et quand, et qui sont les temoins?

If you really disliked XanGo so much last time, why subject yourself to another assured degustation?

Corry Cropper said...

I'll just watch as you drink it. Rumor has it: if you drink a whole bottle, you'll have Taco Bell syndrome... aka la chiasse.

Jerry Hines said...

I have to fundamentally disagree with you - XanGo tastes great and I drink it every day!! And that's for the last 5 years.

But that's why there are so many salad dressings on the market - not everyone has the same taste.

The fruit it comes from has been deemed "The Best Tasting Fruit on Earth" by none other than Gourmet Magazine.

Obviously there is a disconnect.

Dana said...

Dang it! Now I have to go check the score of that game, which somehow escaped my notice despite the prominence of MLS soccer in the everyday lives of Americans!