Thursday, June 12, 2008

Yellow Lab Coats?

Dear Tour de France organizers,

I have an idea to end the doping culture in professional cycling. I believe it may save your sport.

In the wake of Floyd Landis' fall from grace in 2006 and the Rasmussen, Mayo, Vinokourov debacle of 2007, please consider the following as a means to restore public trust and to assure that everyone is racing by the same set of rules.

Since many of the best results in recent years have been achieved through the hard work of shady doctors and dubious labs, I suggest we bring them out of the shadows. When the Tour begins in Brittany this year, instead of cyclists, invite the doctors themselves take the starting line. Since they are largely responsible for who wins, get rid of those disruptive middle men on the bikes. Who needs them anyway? We want to see the real competitors go at it.

Instead of jerseys, though, our racing doctors would of course wear lab coats. And they could find sponsorships in the pharmaceutical world. Think about it! No more hypocrisy: "Dopage obligatoire!"

I have heard an unconfirmed report that this year's favorite, Dr. Ferrari, may have already signed with Team Pfizer.

Sincerely,
Un ami du Tour

1 comment:

Derek said...

The big question with all the recent doping scandals is: Where do you draw the line? Can an athlete take vitamins to improve their health? I think so, but at what point do medicinal remedies cease being 'healthy' and turn them into steroid-machines?